Somewhere between the end of the men's shows and the beginning of this decade, the private poker game replaced the private members' club as the place a certain kind of man wants to be seen not being seen. I have been to three of them this year, in Paris, London and New York, and the dress code was more interesting than most runway shows.
The runway sells a silhouette. A poker table sells stillness. The men who play well dress the way the Cottweiler boys looked in that wheat field in January: dark, quiet, one strong piece and nothing that moves. A loud jacket is a tell. So is a watch you keep checking. The Pitti Uomo peacocks, the ones in the double-breasted tartan with the three pocket squares, would be eaten alive at a serious table, and they know it, which is why you never see them there.
What the table teaches
Three things, and they all apply to getting dressed. First, position: it matters where you are before it matters what you have. The best seat at a dinner, the right side of a group photograph, acting last at a card table. Second, patience: fold more than you play. The men with the best wardrobes own fewer things and wear them longer. Third, bankroll: decide what you can afford to lose before you sit down, whether it is an evening's chips or a season's shopping, and never chase. I have watched a man in a very good Caraceni suit lose his composure over a river card and it undid the suit completely.
Online, the silhouette changes
Most of the people at those private tables also play online between games, and the etiquette is different: faster, tighter, no tells except timing. Nobody can see the jacket. What is left is discipline, which is the only thing that was ever stylish about gambling anyway. The players I respect treat an online poker room the way they treat a tailor: one or two they trust, a fixed budget, and no interest in the welcome offer. More on that in Playing from Home.
What to wear, if you insist
- A dark knit or an unstructured jacket in navy or charcoal. Nothing with a shine.
- A watch with a leather strap. Steel bracelets click on the rail.
- Sunglasses only if they are the point. Gentle Monster's Siki Im frames are the acceptable exception.
- Grenson loafers. You will be sitting for six hours and standing for one, and the one is when it matters.
Play for the company, dress for the room, and leave when you said you would.